When I don’t like the way something is going, I don’t address it and try to fix it. At least not at first. I ignore it until it becomes a much bigger problem. Mature, I know. And that’s what I’ve been doing with my weight.
I’ve been good, I’ve been bad. There hasn’t been a lot of in between. I thought that I could do this the same way I did it before. The last time I lost a lot of weight – 25 pounds – I did it in two months, and honest to God it was easy. Two months, 1,200 calories a day, no cheating. So I thought I could do that again. The longest I’ve lasted this time is two weeks. Other than that it’s been 1,200 calories one day, pigging out the next. Predictable, I know, to anyone but me.
When I first started using My Food Diary, I made up a “fake” food entry for those days when I just didn’t feel like counting calories and being strict. I made it 2,500 calories and named it “Off-the-Wagon Day.” But this past summer, I had to add a new category: 3,500 calories. Almost three times what I wanted to eat each day. Those were the days when I would just eat non-stop all day, whether I was hungry or not. When I would go to Subway with the kids and eat a sub with cheese and mayo and then buy another one to take home. When I would go to Chipotle and eat an entire burrito and bag of tortilla chips with extra guacamole. When I would make a pound of pasta for the kids and eat whatever was left over. Those were the days when I hadn’t just fallen off the wagon, but had eaten my way off of it. So, I named it “Eating-the-Wagon Day.” And I’ve had way too many of those lately.
I don’t know for sure why this isn’t working this time, but if I had to guess, I’d say I just don’t want it as much as last time. I was in a size 18 and could hardly button my pants, but refused to by 20s. I was desperate to get to a more normal size. I was super motivated. This time, meh. I want to be smaller, but at size 14 I no longer feel like an elephant. And in terms of motivation, that’s a bad thing.
So, no more 1,200 calorie days. What worked before is not working this time and I’m finally admitting it. No more going to events and saying “Next time these people see me I’m going to be four sizes smaller.” No more drastic changes. I have to finally give moderation a try. I hate moderation, but maybe it’s time to grow up.
So, I’ve set My Food Diary to the much more reasonable goal of losing one pound per week. At this point that means I can eat about 1,500 calories a day. 300 more calories may not sound like much, but it’s huge. It’s 25% more than I was letting myself have on my “good” days. It will let me relax and not feel deprived.
It will let me have (a reasonable amount of) one of my all-time favorite meals, bruschetta (an appetizer for some, I know, but I make a meal out of it). Since I’ve still got tomatoes growing in my garden – in late November! – I made this a couple times this past week. It was delicious.
The way I make it, it’s mushy, which I prefer – it stays on the bread better. But if you like your tomatoes more firm, then skip the blanching and leave the skins on when you dice the tomatoes.
This is my first whrrl recipe. Let me know if you like the format.
The entire recipe, minus the bread, is about 340 calories. The bread is the real wild-card, so try to control yourself. :-)