I use an online grocery delivery service for about 75% of the food and supplies that come into my house. I’ve been using the same one for ten years now. When I shop, I shop from a list of everything I’ve ever bought. After ten years, the list has gotten quite big, and the other day I decided to pare it down to make reordering quicker.
I had no idea this simple to-do would be an emotional experience. I should have had tissues handy.
My eyes had gotten used to skipping over certain sections over the years. I knew instinctively that I didn’t need those things, but hadn’t really looked at them in a long time. Looking closer was like going back in time to other phases of my life, phases that are over.
Some, I’m glad are done. Diapers? Haven’t needed those for six years! Why are they still on the list? Gone. Same with wipies, although I admit, having those around was handy – I used them to clean up way more than babies’ butts. Baby snacks? Gone! The kids just go to the pantry and get the same food I eat now. No more special foods, thank goodness. So much easier.
But Johnson’s Head-To-Toe Wash? That one made me tear up (ironic, I know, since it’s no-more-tears). It’s been years since I’ve bathed my kids – they shower themselves. No more baths, no more toys. That’s basically my choice – when we visit my mom, she still indulges my daughter in long baths with toys and bubbles, and Fiona loves it. But giving my kids baths are something that I like much more as a memory – in reality I was always impatient to get out of the bathroom and get them to bed. Off of the list.
And then I got to the pet food. Sigh. The cats are both dead, and yet their food and treats are still on my list. I’d kept them on there at first because the moment we saw signs of mice, we were getting another cat. But It’s been more than a year, and we’re still a cat-free (and mouse-free!) household. I don’t want another cat, but I do miss Patty and Selma. They were part of our lives before our kids.
The cat litter though? No sadness about getting rid of that! Off of the list. (Although I’m pretty sure the litter box is still in the basement. I will ask my husband AGAIN to get rid of it! Gross.)
Then the list got scary: Fat-free cheese? That was from the very brief period when I thought that fat-free was the way to go. When did that period end? When I discovered that fat-free mozzarella doesn’t actually melt. Ick. Bring on the good stuff.
But vegan cheese? That one was a puzzler. I don’t do vegan, at least not on purpose (the vegan sandwich at Fresh & Co. happens to be my favorite, with avocado, tomato, sprouts, red onion, pine nuts, and hummus). But vegan cheese? I feel about that the way bacon lovers feel when I call Morningstar strips “veggie bacon.” The word cheese just doesn’t belong when there’s no dairy involved.
Ah yes, a vegan friend-of-a-friend came over for lunch years ago and I made him food. I’m good like that. But that stuff isn’t coming into my house again unless he does. Off the list.
Yams? I hate yams. But know who loves them? My little niece Chloe, who’ll be here soon for another visit, and I will supply her with all the yams she can eat. Stays on the list!
I’m feeling more up-to-date and a little lighter. And while I’m a little melancholy for some things I’ll never have again (babies!), I’m at a really great place in my life, and now my shopping list reflects that.
My closet should really be next in line for this treatment, but I’m still waiting for peasant skirts to come back, so I think I’ll put that task off for now.
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