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Why Deadpool Makes Parents Uncomfortable

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Like a lot of parents, I had no idea what Deadpool was. I’m not a comic book fan. When my son said he wanted to see it, I probably muttered “Sure.” He’s never asked to see a movie that we didn’t want him to see. My husband wanted to see it too. They decided to go together.

It wasn’t until last week, when parents on Facebook started screaming that Deadpool wasn’t for kids, that I started paying attention.

Now, the term “kids” is problematic. My son is 14 and in high school. There are days when he hops on the subway, heads into the city, and doesn’t return until after dinner. He’s independent. He’s seen a lot and heard a lot. But still, he’s a freshman in high school. He’s at a weird, in-between age. I had no idea if he was included in this group, the one that shouldn’t see the movie under any circumstances. I mean, to hear some parents tell it, letting your children see this movie should be grounds for Child Services to take them away.

I checked it out as best I could, read reviews, talked to friends who’d seen it. And I came to a conclusion that confused me: He should see it with his friends, not with his dad.

The movie is filled with both violence and sex. But it’s never the violence that makes us uncomfortable when we’re watching something with our kids. I know I’m supposed to care, but I don’t. Heads can get blown off, throats slit, guts pulled out, and I don’t bat an eye.

But two characters kiss, and I start to shift around on the couch, fidgeting. They head to the bedroom, and I find an excuse to go to the kitchen.

Why the huge difference? It finally hit me, and it’s pretty simple: I do not expect my kids to slit someone’s throat or shoot anybody.  I do expect them to get boyfriends and girlfriends and kiss and have sex someday. Sitting there with them, watching them watch, makes me confront the fact that they’re getting older. It’s my problem, not theirs.

So, if my son wants to see Deadpool, or pretty much any movie at this point, I don’t care. But he should do what I did at that age: See it with his friends, and never ever tell his parents anything about it.

And thank God for Google. There are apparently a couple of words in the movie that I had to look up (no, I’m not going to tell you what they are), and I would rather go carb-free again than tell my son what they mean. He and his friends can do what teenagers are supposed to do: Look that stuff up together and laugh their heads off.

Mel

Tuesday 1st of March 2016

I'm lucky that my children aren't old enough yet to have to worry about this. They are toddlers, they are not watching a violent movie period. Of course my husband has needed to be a little educated on what is considered violent apparently since he let out daughter watch Jurassic park with him when she was 3 and consequently gave her nightmares. Thanks honey. But my mom felt the same way as you do. She didn't let us watch sex scenes but she never had a problem with violent movies. I have watched people getting shot and blown up for as long as I can remember but yet my mom was strict against the sex scenes. lol I think your reasoning is spot on though, you know your kids aren't going to kill anyone but they WILL have sex and you are right... EEEEWWWW. No parent should have to think about that, its just cruel. lol Me personally I can't wait to see Deadpool, sans children, my husband and I love the comic book movies.

NYCSingleMOm

Thursday 18th of February 2016

Its weird, I have read the reviews as well and heard from other parents who are Marvel fans. It good god no do not take your 12 year old to see it. I read about the sex scenes and that Reynolds is nude but those who have seen it tell me its about the violence with no mention of the sex scenes. I will agree the idea of the violence bothers me conceptually but sex scenes and watching them with my daughter ewwww!! Will we go it together I guess so, since I would rather we see it together rather her sneaking behind my back to see it. I cant wait to what those words are.

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