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This was the first year since having kids that I wasn’t out trick-or-treating with them. Fiona’s best friend’s mom was nice enough to take her, and Jake went with his friends. I actually got to sit on our stoop and hand out candy, something I’ve never gotten to do before! I decorated and everything!
There were highs, and there were lows. All-in-all I’d much rather be on my stoop than trekking around in the crowds – I hope I get to do this again next year!
So here was my Halloween, by the numbers:
4 – How many giant bags of candy I bought at Costco this morning.
3 – Number of balloons I accidentally popped before figuring out how to get the glow lights in there.
3 – Number of hours I sat on my stoop handing out candy.
2 – Number of pieces of candy I let each kid choose.
4 – How many kids said “Aww, is it all chocolate?” Something to remember for next year.
54 – Average temperature while I was on my stoop. Not as bad as I thought it was going to be – they were predicting 40.
3 – How many Princess costumes I saw. An all-time low.
0 – How many of those princesses were Elsa from Frozen. I think. One little girl was wearing a blue dress, she could have been Elsa. Or Cinderella. Or just a generic blue princess.
0 – Number of completely tasteless costumes I saw.
1 – Number of “slutty” costumes I saw. It was a slutty nun, which should make it count as two. Although, since the person wearing it was maybe twelve, that might push it into the “completely tasteless costumes” category.
5 or 6 – How many teenagers came by and took two pieces of candy even though they weren’t wearing costumes and I told them they could have one piece. I get it: you’re not an adult, but you’re too old for kid stuff. You’re feeling awkward but you want some free candy. Who wouldn’t? But humor me: Make even the lamest attempt at a costume. Tell me you’re dressed as “Man Without Glasses.” Something.
4 – Number of teenagers dressed in costume who took only one piece of candy when I offered two, saying “That’s OK, save it for the little kids!”
4 – Pieces of candy a grown woman accompanying a small child took, sheepishly saying “I’m pregnant.”
1 – Number of adults not even accompanying a child who took candy, even after I said “It’s just for the kids.”
1 – Number of Kindles that I accidentally left on the stoop after I called it a night. Oops. It’s already been deregistered and blacklisted, so at least it’s useless to whoever took it. If Apple made it this easy, nobody would get mugged for iPhones.
1 – Number of pieces of candy I ate the entire day. I KNOW!