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Your job right now is to survive, not thrive

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I’ve seen so many people writing about how hard this all is. Lives have been turned upside-down. The way forward is uncertain. Many people have lost their jobs outright, or for many of my freelance and blogging friends, lost a good chunk of their income. People are bored, kids are stir-crazy, families are stuck in cramped quarters or other less-than-ideal situations, away from friends and grandparents and helpers. And some situations, of course, are even worse. Unspeakably worse.

On the other hand, there are websites posting color-coded school charts and tips on how to make sure your kids’ learning doesn’t get interrupted by remote school. There are creative people making amazing art, cooks and bakers leaning in to their extra time, content creators enlisting their families to make super entertaining videos, and musicians recording home concerts to entertain the bored masses. None of that is bad (personally, I love seeing how time and boredom are turning some people into internet stars).

But if you feel like you’re just treading water, watching other people get fit or learn a language or start a home business can make you feel like there’s something wrong with you, like you’re wasting an amazing opportunity to do something with all this time at home.

Here’s the thing: you don’t have a responsibility to become a better person right now. If you want to try, that’s great! For some people, time at home really was the only thing keeping them from reaching their full potential, getting that project done, exploring that exciting opportunity. This is not in ANY WAY a swipe at people who are doing well right now.

But if that’s not you, there is NOTHING wrong with you. You hear me? Nothing. If you are in survival mode, that is OK.

Are you working from home? Unless you were already working from home before all of this started, then you can not be expected to replicate what you normally do in a work day. Especially with kids around!

Even for someone like me, who’s been working from home for years, this is harder. I’m super distractable, and the only thing that helps me be productive is hours of time at home alone. Well, guess what I haven’t had in five weeks?

You’re also probably not homeschooling. Unless you were homeschooling before this, you are not homeschooling now. Homeschooling is a decision that families make after careful consideration. Nobody chose this! What you’re doing is trying to replicate something that simply cannot be replicated.

No matter how supportive and organized your kids’ school is, I’m guessing that most of you did not have any aspirations to be teachers. And even if you did, it was not to teach your own children, which is a totally different thing.

You are being asked to do impossible things, under bad conditions, for an unknown payout.

So my point is, no matter how you’re doing, you’re doing fine. Really. We all are.

Except for showering. I should really be doing that more often.

Frances Saucedo

Friday 10th of July 2020

You are absolutely right! We are all doing our best. It is not easy working from home, helping children with online school (especially children that have a hard time focusing), running your side business (if you have one), and then doing all the normal daily stuff. Your best may not be someone else's best, but your best is good enough.

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